Journey . . .

Isn't that what life is? A journey.

To those who like to over think things then no it wouldn't be a journey because a journey usually has a destination. Living your life shouldn't be about getting your destination, but about the ride along the way. I read a little line tonight and how true it was.

'Don't compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.'

Such a little sentence, such a wake up.

How many times have we all judged others reactions to things. Such as what we would call over reaction, under reaction or maybe even as extreme as pure selfishness. How do we really know and who are we do even think such a thing. People tend to say 'I know what you're going through' or 'Yea been there!'.

Nope. You don't and haven't. You don't live anyone elses journey, but your own. Therefore you don't know why people react the way they do. Just because you may share a certain experience doesn't mean you handle things the same way. Even see things the same way.

We've all been guilty of judgement at some point or other and we really shouldn't be.

To each their own. That's what I always say. It may seem like sometimes I don't care about things, it's just my way of acceptance. I don't concern myself with the decisions of others usually. Mainly because I really don't understand why such a decision was made and unless you want to get deeply involved, you wouldn't ask why. I just accept that people know why they do things and if they're happy and not harming anyone, who's business is it?

Each and every one of us needs to suck every possible second of happiness out of the journey we're on. If you want something; jump. Make it happen. I'm not saying jump from a plane without a parachute, but don't let opportunity pass you by, because be assured, it doesn't go to waste. The next person to come along will take it.

When you come to a fork in the road where more than one opportunity presents itself; trust your gut. It will lead to a whole lot less regret then not.

If you come to a road block; plow through. Don't let it stop you, just figure out how to get around it. Hard work, determination and passion is what makes the world we know possible. Do you think Steve Jobs was met with cheers when he talked about his first step into greatness? Chances are slim. The great, don't become great at the beginning of their journey. Chances need to be taken. Whatever it is you want from your life needs to be given everything you've got.

Maybe it's an artist, CEO, self-made millionaire, a mother/father or an inventor. No matter how big or small others may think your dreams are, they're not impossible and don't have to remain dreams.

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it."

- Mother Teresa

-T-

Perseverance . . .

I have two P's in my life; Passion and Perseverance.

I believe with these two attributes I can accomplish anything.

I want to be a photographer. More then anything else, I want that.

I admit I'm a little intimidated by all of the successful photographers out there, but I've let other things deter me as well. No more. I had my epiphany a few days ago. Standing at work before the store opened, I simply looked around and said aloud; "What in the world am I doing?". This is not what I wanted for myself. It's at the completely other end of the spectrum from what I wanted for myself to be honest.

Then I came home and read over my posts here. That day was exactly the kick I needed. I went and registered for a six week photography workshop. Included is about 80% of what I need to know to get started. Granted, photographers, like any other profession will be constantly learning, I simply mean the skills I need to get myself going. I absorb every bit of knowledge I can find already, on my own. I just love learning from those in the field. There is no better knowledge then from those with experience.

To say I'm excited for the start date is an understatement. I feel like the old cliche was right; Here's to the first day of the rest of my life.

I will have what I want. No matter what obstacles present themselves to me I now have the confidence in myself, the perseverance to know I will succeed. I will be a photographer. I not only have confidence in myself, but my talent. I just need the knowledge I currently don't possess in order to refine my skills.

'Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.' - Marie Curie

-T-

Appearances . . .

Boy; what a loaded word, but it pretty much encompasses a good chunk of what's going on inside my head right now. Since my journey to a thinner, healthier, more happier me has begun, I've taken a look at everything that effects my life. The people, things, habits etc. Eye opener really. I've made some tough choices, tough for me anyway, in this journey and one of those is to sever ties with those people who bring nothing, but the negative out in me.

Over the course of the past year (2011) I've been on somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I would have extreme highs and then extreme lows. To be honest at first I didn't have a sweet clue as to what was causing such changes. Then I realized it was how I reacted to situations and people. I got tired of being used, taken for a ride, however you want to put it. I now get slightly amused at such things, but back then I let it upset me and effect me in a really big way.

I can't blame people for the roller coaster ride because I allowed for them to effect me that way, but I've thankfully realized what I was doing and have remedied the issue.

How many times do people contact me only when they want something from me? Quite often.

Whether it be a 'favor' or 'errand' or whichever word they tended to use at the time, it became ridiculous. I had no free time. To one person it didn't seem like a big deal, but when several people were doing the same thing, it became quite overwhelming. It got to a point where I began to resent the people around me because they didn't care how it was effecting me as long as I did the favor or errand.

Almost as if their life was so much more busy or their time more valuable.

I've said it before and I'll say it once more:

Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I don't have a life. It simply means I have a different one than you chose to have. I actually had someone look at me and ask what I had to be happy about because I didn't have children or a house. Well you know what? I have a lot to be happy about. I'm healthy and happy - are you? If I choose to have kids; great. If not - so what. Your goals in life are different then mine, it's not my problem if you can't accept that.

I'm not living my life to make you happy, I'm living it to make me happy.

Just because I don't choose to have 2.5 children, a white picket fence and a constant stream of the newest gadgets in my life, doesn't mean I can't afford to, it means I don't want the things you do.

I refuse to be sucked into this 'keeping up with the Joneses'.

I have decided to live for me, to make me happy. If I make a choice that you don't understand, that's ok too. You don't have to understand it, it's not your life, it's mine and I do understand why I do certain things.

So when you look at me, don't assume you know me, don't assume we're close and don't assume you know what's better for me then I do.

Assuming doesn't make an ass out of you and me - just you, because I'm not wasting my time trying to figure you out.

'Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look past the imperfections.' Unknown

-T-

Goals . . .

Yup I'm a sucker for them. I'm a planner like no other, but adaptable as well so it works. I have a planner that is my lifeline - everything goes in there and it makes me feel organized and well grounded. I have bunches of things going on and find it quite easy to just write things in there and that way I can forget about it. Well not really. I write reminder of things, if necessary, a few days before if the event takes any kind of preparation.

So for such a planner the start of a new year is about more then crappy, unrealistic, resolutions that get forgotten about mere weeks later. It means finding the things that I want most in life and having a semi timeline for them. And yes, I understand sometimes life happens and interrupts a well laid timeline, but we all need something to aim for. Obstacles are always able to be worked with or through. So for this year, my year, I have several goals.

Goal number one: to bump my store into the next and top sales bracket for our company. It was a hell of a ride through our Christmas season BUT;

Goal Accomplished!

Goal number two: Pay off all outstanding bills, but of course my student loan! This goal is set to be finished in the coming weeks upon receiving a fabulous, long awaited, income tax return!

YAY!

Goal number three: Lose weight! I topped a number higher then ever before there just before Christmas and it made me realize enough was enough. Around me I see family members doing it. Losing weight and getting healthy and it helped me realize that the reasons I was feeding myself were nothing more then empty excuses. So almost three weeks ago I rejoined the gym. I try to go five times a week and am proud to say out of the last 17 days I've gone 12 times - I'm sorry, but today is Valentine's Day and an extra cheat day! The first week I gained 4.4lbs - figure that one out. I'll tell you. I began drinking a whole lot of water, not changing my eating habits at all and I was hungrier than usual because of all of the extra exercise. I stepped on the scales earlier and have dropped the said 4.4 exactly, within the second week. I still drink all of the water, but have stop the constant snacking on junk food and take out. I have 27lbs to go by the end of June.

Work in progress.

Goal number four: Learn the things about photography that I need to know, but don't AND purchase the equipment I want. I'm currently working on the knowledge portion of this goal, the equipment is a logical follow up for a bit later in the year.

Work in progress.

Goal number five: Purchase everything I've been wanting for my apartment, but have delayed getting. Thanks to a fabulous last quarter at work I will be receiving a bonus which will allow me to purchase the largest two ideas I have left for this goal - a new king sized bed and tv for the living room. I also want artwork, frames, lamps, tables, etc. All things will be purchased within the next few weeks - shopping spree! :)

Work in progress.

Goal number six: Make a decision about buying/building a house. Though I would love to say I want to own a house by year end, it all depends on whether I want to buy or build. This one is still not set in stone.

Contemplating.

Goal number seven: getting my permit - again. I had this and let it expire. I know; tut tut tut tut tut on me, but I'm not at a point in my life where this is not a choice, but a priority.

Coming Spring 2012.

That is all there is to my list - easy smeesy right? Haha. I personally think this is going to take quite a bit of work, but I have determination in spades and a want to have these things that can't compare to anything I can put into words. I'll keep updating as I make progress.

Let's see how I do! :)

BFF . . .

Let's be honest; you don't have as many 'BFF's' as you sometimes may think. Growing up every other person is your BFF; changed with the mood really. As you get older relationships start to dwindle and fade out. People develop and grow differently and inevitably place importance on some relationships more then others. You and I are both guilty of doing this over time.

Do I regret doing so? Nope. Not for a second. The way we handle relationships as well as any other aspect of our lives results in the person you are today and I like the person I am. I'm proud of the choices I've made, the ties that I've cut, bridges I've burned, relationships I've kept close etc. I've been honest to myself and although I can count my BFF's with just a couple of fingers, I can safely say that I couldn't ask for any better in those people.

These are people who are truly there for me and me for them unconditionally. They are never too busy with their own lives for me or me for them. They have only to say the word and the calendar clears. I've shared in every up and down with these people and wouldn't trade a second. When I've hit rock bottom these people have been there to get me back up, help me shake it all off and get back on my feet. When I hear the saying 'You'll always be my friend because you know too much.' Yup I agree. No one else in my life currently knows nor will ever know me like they do. The trust that is between us is something that I have no desire to work at developing between anyone else.

So when you think of your 'best friend' really think about it. I have a bunch of friends, but only a couple who I know will never be too busy for me or me for them, would never judge a decision they've made and would support them completely and utterly unconditionally. When I think about the truly important times in my life, they are the only people that share in them all.

'Even though we've changed and we're finding our own place in the world, we know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not still friends.' - Unknown

-T-

Truths . . .

People think that you know who your true friends and family are when you're down and out; I don't believe this is necessarily the case. I believe that your friends and family should love you regardless of what state your life is in. They should be the ones who you call or they call to just talk, catch up or grab a bite to eat with. You should be able to sit in a room and not feel awkward silences. You should be able to go without talking for a period of time, yet know that they're a moment away at all times, ready to pick up where you left off at any time. You support each other in the ups, downs and everything in between. They should be people who you don't need to have secrets from because no matter what you tell them, they're ok with it. They support you and you them with no boundaries, no limits and no rules.

This is what I consider true friends. If you think about those people around you, how many are there with you, always and unconditionally? I can only think of a few yet I feel like the luckiest woman alive for having as many as I do.

To those people; thank you.

Choices . . .

To say we face numerous choices is a gross understatement. Life is like one of those god awful trick boxes you see around the holidays - the outer shell is a big box containing another and another and so on and so forth until you reach the prize in the middle. Life is like that. The choices we face daily are the center, but tend to have a ripple effect. Normally people tend to think that we have huge decisions and we have small decisions - no. Every decision we make is huge in itself and they all effect you and in that it will help shape the person you become; to shape the life you currently have.

People tend to play it safe when dealing with decision making. Don't want to rock the boat, upset people, cause trouble etc. This is a necessary part of making decisions that are best for you; the ones that will help you be the best person you can be and to ensure that you achieve the things you want in life.

Granted there is a fine line between looking out for yourself and being selfish, but if you remain true to yourself, honest, but respectful to everyone else and fair in the choices you make, you have no fear of being seen as selfish.

I walk this line everyday. You may not like what I have to say, but I will always be honest with you, I will always respect you and I will always be fair. No one is better or worse then you. Always remember that. Sometimes in business we have to play the tough guy role and handle unpleasant situations causing us to make choices we would not otherwise make. This is part of a job, that has rules of it's own. It is simply a role we play, not something that defines us. In saying that how we choose to handle said situations can and will define your character. Remember: honest, respectful and fair.

In our personal lives the same rules apply. We need not to worry about what others think of our choices. If we play by the three golden rules, people will treat you in kind. If they do not, you're are truly better off without them in your life. Do not invest more in someone then they will ever return. I'm not saying this as a general - 'don't help anyone, unless they help you' - I'm saying when making 'life choices' do not make someone a priority if you are not one for them as well.

Remember one thing; you have one life. There are no dress rehearsals, no do-overs just this one time around. You need to be at the end of your ride, looking back with a smile. No regrets over should haves, could haves or would haves.

Make everyday a memorable one, give it all you have. Be prepared for curve balls and when faced with a choice - follow your gut. Learn to trust yourself and your instincts. The only things in life you will regret are those you chose not to do in fear of something or someone else.

"I'd much rather be hated for who I am, than to be loved for who I am not. "

-T-