Love . . .

Love.

All consuming love.

Terrifying love.

The very center of your entire universe.

A love we never dare to dream of.

The fairytale as well as the nightmare.

My life.

I love him.  You say it first in your mind; trying it on for size.  Yup, I really do love him.  This is something a lot of us get to experience in our lifetime.  Sometimes we think we've found it and it was just another stepping stone on the road to the real deal and sometimes we look right at it and never realize.  Very rarely in all I've encountered does someone meet 'the one'.  The elusive one. The very epitome of the fairytale.

I did.

Granted it wasn't quite Cinderella.  I didn't have an ugly stepmother or sisters, but we had our fair share of struggles, but as we muddled through them, the feelings grew too.

There was never one moment in which a light bulb went off and I realized this was it - until recently.  Not exactly a light bulb moment, but rather one of extreme clarity.

He's my life.

Not in a creepy 'Ohmygod she's obsessed' way, but rather an 'ohmygod I'm absolutely terrified' way.  And I was; terrified.  Completely and utterly terrified.

How else was I to deal with such a fierce feeling for someone?

How do you let someone have the ability to completely rip my world apart?

Easy.  I love him.

I would rather take the chance of having no life, then miss out on just one day I have with him.

Do I know if he's consumed with the same feelings?  No.

I know he loves me and that's all that matters.

I'm no longer struggling trying to figure out life's problems, a five year plan or the meaning of life.

I found the most precious thing there is - love.

As I see others around me separating and divorcing I look at him and think; no way baby - this is worth more then any battle I have to fight or any war I have to win.

I still have goals for myself, things in which I want to experience and a bucket list for my life, but I'm no longer caught up in the rat race.  I have refocused on what's important and know that whatever goes wrong I have him to come home to. 

I wish you could all find the feelings I have been blessed enough to find.  That one person who can make any struggle simply feel like a journey, who calms you and can take any horrible experience and turn it around simply by making eye contact and who loves you unconditionally.

'You are the strength,
That keeps me walking.
You are the hope,
That keeps me trusting.
You are the light,
To my soul.
You are my purpose,
You're everything

Would you tell me,
How could it be,
Any better than this...'

-T-