Appearances . . .

Boy; what a loaded word, but it pretty much encompasses a good chunk of what's going on inside my head right now. Since my journey to a thinner, healthier, more happier me has begun, I've taken a look at everything that effects my life. The people, things, habits etc. Eye opener really. I've made some tough choices, tough for me anyway, in this journey and one of those is to sever ties with those people who bring nothing, but the negative out in me.

Over the course of the past year (2011) I've been on somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I would have extreme highs and then extreme lows. To be honest at first I didn't have a sweet clue as to what was causing such changes. Then I realized it was how I reacted to situations and people. I got tired of being used, taken for a ride, however you want to put it. I now get slightly amused at such things, but back then I let it upset me and effect me in a really big way.

I can't blame people for the roller coaster ride because I allowed for them to effect me that way, but I've thankfully realized what I was doing and have remedied the issue.

How many times do people contact me only when they want something from me? Quite often.

Whether it be a 'favor' or 'errand' or whichever word they tended to use at the time, it became ridiculous. I had no free time. To one person it didn't seem like a big deal, but when several people were doing the same thing, it became quite overwhelming. It got to a point where I began to resent the people around me because they didn't care how it was effecting me as long as I did the favor or errand.

Almost as if their life was so much more busy or their time more valuable.

I've said it before and I'll say it once more:

Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I don't have a life. It simply means I have a different one than you chose to have. I actually had someone look at me and ask what I had to be happy about because I didn't have children or a house. Well you know what? I have a lot to be happy about. I'm healthy and happy - are you? If I choose to have kids; great. If not - so what. Your goals in life are different then mine, it's not my problem if you can't accept that.

I'm not living my life to make you happy, I'm living it to make me happy.

Just because I don't choose to have 2.5 children, a white picket fence and a constant stream of the newest gadgets in my life, doesn't mean I can't afford to, it means I don't want the things you do.

I refuse to be sucked into this 'keeping up with the Joneses'.

I have decided to live for me, to make me happy. If I make a choice that you don't understand, that's ok too. You don't have to understand it, it's not your life, it's mine and I do understand why I do certain things.

So when you look at me, don't assume you know me, don't assume we're close and don't assume you know what's better for me then I do.

Assuming doesn't make an ass out of you and me - just you, because I'm not wasting my time trying to figure you out.

'Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look past the imperfections.' Unknown

-T-